On My Heart Just Like a Tattoo

I have to ask have you ever met a soul mate? Not necessarily the perfect man or women for you to fall madly in love with, but someone, be it man, women, child, dog, cat, whatever; that it is as if for some reason beyond the physical realm you are connected to this person. I have met a few of my soul mates and those meeting have been life changing.

Have you ever encountered a person who reminds you of a person whom was tremendously significant earlier in your life? Well, there is one such person I have encountered that is a constant reminder of a soul mate lost. Every time they speak to me, my head swims and my words escape me; when they look at me, it is as if they are reading the etchings on my heart and soul; or when they are generally near me, the heat of their very being makes me feel as if there’s no where to run or hide……everything that I am is sent into fight or flight mode. And it is as if they know they have this affect on me. Yes, I know I sound like a teenager with a crush, but I’m married to a great guy and to be honest, if you have ever met a soul mate, you’ll understand that you feel like a magnet being pulled in.

It freaks me out how much this person is just like the person from my past. In my head, I’m saying, “Hello, God, what’s up with that? Are you trying to tell me something? As if I don’t think about the person from my past often enough and now I have a physical reminder with all the characteristics as well.”

The current person almost seems to seek me out. I feel the pull of knowing that our souls understand each other. I try not to be rude, because the current person seems to be a genuinely good person and in another lifetime, we’d be friends. But, they seem to have all the things I miss about the old person, and my heart just can’t handle it. Being around them just brings back the pain of the loss.

I want to move passed it all, but I don’t even know where to begin. I think I need forgive myself for why the person in my past is no longer here. It is not often you find people where you know that you have a deeper understanding of each other beyond cogitative thinking. It is as if you understand their soul and they in turn understand yours. As cheesy as it sounds, its almost feels like their thoughts are your thoughts. I lost a best friend; we shared everything, thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams. We talked for hours and whether my friend thought I was crazy or talked too much or over thought things, they just listened. (Jordan Sparks' "Tattoo" lyrics come to mind......"You're still a part of everything I do, you're on my heart just like a tattoo, I'll always have you.")And the way I ended things was wrong even though I thought I was in the right and I know I brought my friend pain. I tried to talk to them after the fact and messed that up too, but now I’m in a situation where I can’t go back. And I’m pretty sure my presents would be unwelcome.

And as for the new person, who the heck knows how I’m going to deal with that. I suppose, God has brought them in my life maybe as the more acceptable version of my friend to suit where my life is now. But, when they speak to me, I’m lucky if I can even string three sentences together. Oh what an interesting situation this shall be.

The song of the day…..”Under My Bed “ by Meiko

One down many to go

The Chinese Dinner was a success!!!!! To give you a little background on all of this….I am now a member of Friend Church. Yes, the Catholic joined a nondenominational church. Why you ask…................well the hubby is newer to following God and is most comfortable at Friend Church. I’m all for him seeking Christ where he is most comfortable. Besides, for a nondenom church, the place is rocks. Amazing people..........great pastors...fab music........laid back / inviting atmosphere.

Back to the event. Members of Friend Church are going a mission trip to China. (I'm so jealous. China is on my travel list. Ok, few places aren't on my trip list. What can I say, Have passport......will travel anyway.) The Chinese gov’t only allows Chinese printed bibles to be issued, but these are expensive for the average Chinese family to purchase, so organizations have teamed up to go to China and pass out bibles. After working on this event, I really wish I was going to China as well. (Perhaps next year.) So, we held a Chinese dinner as a fundraiser for the members going on the trip and I coordinated. There's is nothing like doing what you love for a good cause. The China House in Irmo, SC provided the food for an amazing price. They rock and have fabulous Chinese food as well. Fun times painting Chinese signs, sewing table toppers, making lanterns (thanks Mam - She has more talent in her pinky toe than I have in my whole body. Albeit, we'll call it 20 extra years of practice. Hee hee, Love you lots Women.) and reusing a few items from the wedding. I had a wonderful set-up and clean-up crew (thanks to Linda!). Everything run beautifully. Money was raised (hope to raise even more for next year’s mission trip.), we ran out of food but everyone at least got some food and there were rave reviews.

The photos aren't the greatest, but you can get a idea of what things looked like.


High top Table Decor




















They liked it so much that our next event is October 11 and 12th. We are having a What NEXT Volunteering Expo. Ideas are running through my head as I type.

That’s all for now, but today’s theme song Monday, Monday by the Mamas and Papas (I know, I'm getting to be so old. Ha ha 30 is the end of the line, yeah right!!!)

Tee minus and counting...........

Just over 24 hours until the first Friend Church Event. I am so excited!!!!! A little disappointed that the hubby and the ‘rents are unable to attend, but this isn’t my first event and it won’t be my last. Everything is complete and it should love Fab-U-lous if I do say so myself. Hard to explain what party / event planning is like for me. High on life for lack of a better term. This week proved that event planning, marketing, and PR is where my heart is. Sales is a means to an end. I have learned much and now it is time to take those skills and apply them where my heart is.

The Scootie book is coming along well too. I love my family and friends. Thus far, everyone’s attitude is “cool, you’re writing a book! I want to read it.” Yes, as the hubby says, “It takes more than a day to write a children’s book?” His idea is….. “See Scooter” “See Scooter run.” “See Scooter bark”. Ah, sorry Babe, but my book is a little more advanced than that. And to my supporters, of course you can read it. Fingers crossed on getting it published.

In other news, it looks like CHS (Airport code for Charleston. It is easier than writing everything out. We’re an hour away) might get hit hard with all of these storms. Scooter and I are headed back to CAE (Columbia) late tonight rather than in the morning. We’re going to batten down the hitches and hope for the best for all involved.

The song in my head today. “Take a Bow” by Rihanna

Pocket Full of Sunshine

There is one word to describe how I’ve been feeling for a while and that’s STRESSED. It seems to be all I can think about some days. I’m trying to hand it all over to God and be optimistic....BUT......all it has been is lots of “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine”. I am a firm believer in if God brings you to it, he gives you the strength to get through it. So I have been working on letting my little light shine, but my head gets in the way A LOT. No I’m not depressed, A. I won’t give into that. B. I have way too much to be thankful for. But when its late at night, my brain drifts to little things I have given over to God that I shouldn’t be thinking about.

My thoughts……….what is going to happen with work being slow for Stu…….we will get through it, but are we on the same page?……….Why are the Dutch so odd?.....what’s going on with my company?.......Should I put all my energy into this gig or focus on finding a new one?........What’s the best way to break into event planning?............I hate debt!.......Really need to just get out of it……….How do we get on the same page with all that?........Man I am so stupid when it comes to money!.......

Yes, I know I think WAY too much. I just need to be great at whatever it is I’m going to be when I grow up and not hold back.

JUST DO IT!

Be all I can be

Trust in God

stop looking inward and handle things as they come.

BTW - Pocket full of sunshine is the song stuck in my head today.