Operation Skinny B*tch – Day 1

This is how it all got started. This evilly fabulous image was Ken and my wedding cake. Butter recipe yellow cake with chcolate moose between the layers and topped with chocolate ganache. YES, it was as fabulous as it looked. And Thus began the weight gain.

As I have said before, this Barbie’s jeans have been steadily shrinking since last April. I LOVE chocolate and since getting married I have eaten more chocolate and exercised less. I found the Operation Skinny Bitch blog the other day and decided to hop on board. Not only is this for my health and on behalf of my over stretched clothes but also the fact that PR Barbie is getting married in May and Weight Lifter Barbie (another girl friend from college. Who married English Ken (ex-serious relationship just before meeting Ken)’s younger brother in November will most likely be in attendance.)) Not that I am in competition with Weight Lifter Barbie, trust me, I could not keep up with her. But NO self respecting Barbie attends a wedding not looking her best and sending a lovely message to the ex “EAT YOUR HEART OUT, BUD! Smooches and wish you all the best.” No I don’t hate the ex, nor do I not know that I am better off with Construction Ken. I just, need that small victory, for me that’s all. Silly I know.

Ok so Day one of OSB!!!! Bring it! I can do this! So, hopped onto the scale this morning and…………Survey says…..ding, ding, ding 157.8. OMG!!! Its just a number and in fact it would be no big deal if I had not gained this over the course of 9 months without there being a little person involved. You see, I did not go on a diet before my wedding; I just took it at what it was and went with it. But, love handles have popped out and I definitely have some chub to get rid of. Other than the weigh in, the first order of business was to get cracking on the exercise. Woke up, froze my bum off taking the uppies for a walk. The Uppies are all too happy to be a part of OSB. Once back at home 20 jumping jacks and 3 reps of ten on the ad lounger before hopping in the shower. 20 more jumping jacks while in robe. My mission today is to add exercise back into my life so it becomes a normal part of my day, drink more water, and eat less chocolate. I won’t give up chocolate all together, because let’s be honest……Ken would not want to know me off chocolate and why set yourself up to fail to begin with. I’ll eat one Dove Dark Chocolate Promise a day. Besides dark chocolate is good for you. Its like taking your vitamins. So there!!! I’ll keep you posted on how I do. Feel free to join the ban wagon as well.

$2.5 Million..........I gave it away for free

Ok so I was busy expanding my knowledge of international current events as any intelligent Barbie should and a coworker passed this tidbit o’ hard hitting news. Some bird (UK version of chick) is auctioning off her virginity for so far $2.5 million pounds (yes, the Barbie brain quickly went through the exchange rate and my mouth still dropped.) Side stepping the morally good Catholic Barbie within, I thought, HOLY COW!!! SHE’s getting paid LARGE amounts of money for something I gave away for free. WHAT the heck!!!! And there I was holding out for LOVE all those years, silly me.

Dear first person I slept with, please send back payment on what you got years ago. I will accept a $100 a month until it is paid in full. Thanks and hope all is going well with you.

Then I was slightly jealous that I have absolutely NOTHING that anyone would pay $2.5 million pounds for and well IF I in fact do, I don’t want to know what it is. “Indecent Proposal” much!!!! Article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/4222155/Student-auctions-off-virginity-for-offers-of-more-than-2.5-million.html

Now on the whole moral ground of it, kinda sad really that this girl is going to those lengths to get a higher education and I imagine $2.5 Million pounds wouldn’t have been enough for me to have sold myself.

But back to the fun side of thinking about $2.5 million…..(Ken is a lotto player, don’t ask me why, but he is and if $2 a week makes him happy then it is money well worth being budgeted. Plus we have fun talking about what we would do with the money.) So, $2.5 million…………rather than even thinking about how I got that, we’ll go with God connected me to my long lost relative’s family fortune. So, first things first

tithe that is $25000 directly to our church

Then wipeout the debt
Dear Bank of America, Visa, and Master card, I would say that I hate you, but that would imply that I cared and in fact I don’t. Feel free to kiss my bum from here on. Take these last payments as my last eff you. I realize I got myself into the problems, but what did you honestly think would happen when you gave a 20-year-old plastic and said “have fun!”? I’m a cash girl now. So, leave me alone or I’ll sick Dave Ramsey on you.

give Ken about $50 to $100K to just blow on whatever he wanted because well that is about all I’m willing to chalk up to tools, boats, etc

50K or so on the ***NEW*** Barbie wardrobe (Dear Coach, I still love you very much. I’m sorry we haven’t talked much, but I had a few things I had to take care of. I’m sorry I sold a few of your friends on Craig’s List and those knock-off handbags I looked at meant nothing to me. I’m back, BABY!!! Oh and please feel free to tell Burberry I said hello and I have always liked plaid.

Then I would finally get a car. I have been driving the same Toyota Corolla since 2000. Toyota makes such a good car, but enough is enough all ready.

From there I’d invest and open my event planning venue. Yes, I would still work. Ken thinks this is the oddest thing ever, but I know this about myself, I enjoy working. Shhh, don’t tell my boss, but I do.

Ok so back to work for me, because the $2.5 mill hasn’t fallen in my lap yet and I have to run to my bank so I have Barbie mansion payment money in my account.

Monday Again and It wasn't ME

Not Me Monday was created by McKMamma from MyCharmingKids blog. I have been involved for about a month. Ever the planner and perfectionist, this is a nice outlet to laugh about that fact that I am only human and far from perfect. Plus, its something to look forward to on a Monday.

I did NOT finally take down all the Christmas decor last Thursday. There are strict rules in this house that the Christmas decor is up the day after Thanksgiving and down a day after New Years. I could give the excuse that I was in fact ill last week, blah, blah, blah. But, seeing as how it didn't happen (wink, wink).......

I DO NOT have zits popping up all over my face because I was a lazy bum last week and did not go through the WHOLE make-up removal routine and go to bed.

Friday was NOT spent researching Event planning jobs, locations, other coordinators and dreaming of the day when I can make the career leap of being an Event Planner.

The Barbie Mansion (lol) was NOT cleaned from top to bottom (Had to get it "company clean.") on Saturday, because Ken (the hubs. Barbie and Ken, get it.) invited people over to watch the football games on Sunday. On the same note, I was NOT a crabby PMSy butt about it. Nor did I turn my simple cleaning project into an all day event by reorganizing the linen and master closets.

I also did NOT look forward to going to the St. Andrews Bridal Showcase all week, only to wimp out about going by myself, claiming that Ken needed my help to prepare for the football guests. He actually did need my help.

We are NOT attempting to train the uppies based on things I saw on "It's Me or the Dog."

I did NOT break a Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover rule and use some of my Christmas money from my grandparents to buy shoes and Ken's birthday presents instead for putting it toward the debt.

I did NOT gain 20 pounds since our wedding in April and the Bon bons are NOT calling my name from the pantry as I type.

I am NOT surprised and happy that Ken and I have gone almost a month without arguing and getting completely tick off at each other. We are working VERY hard to be a cohesive unit. I can fully admit, I like the hubs a lot as of late.

Marriage 101

Traveling together, especially by car, tends to bring out the “color” in our relationship and I often find myself asking God, “Is this what you had planned for my life? When I said I wanted to get married THIS is NOT what I had planned!” Just when you think it is safe to think, life would be so much simpler if it was just you, perhaps less fulfilling, but you’ll take simple for now…..the other person does something that reminds you that “Yeah, you kinda like this guy” ( admitting love at that point would kill the Barbie ego, so you go with the baby step of you like him.) And in true God fashion, there on Yahoo’s homepage is an article about the 7 things no one tells you about marriage. I thought the article was good one. (See the link below)

The top items in the 7 things:
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

Wednesday, I was in true “Evil Baby Spawn” form. I’m in sales it was the end of my month, end of my quarter, end of my year and I was still $40K out from making my committed numbers. Stress-free was not in my vocabulary. Plus, our corporate office was riding our bums. Ken (had the nerve to speak to me) kept asking me questions about our trip to Atlanta. He then asked if I was going to be in a bad mood all day and I said (“I don’t know, do you plan on continuing to speak to me?”) “Not really.”
To be honest, there are days I do not like Ken, I have no clue why on Earth God sent him to me, or what the heck I was thinking when I said yes. I cannot tell you how many times in the last nine months, I have thought about leaving.

Dear Friends and Family: I regret to inform you that I in fact met the wrong guy and gave him the wrong finger. Best wishes and Lots of Love…..Mieko!”

My great grandma (whom was married for about 70 years) once told me that marriage was a choice. She said there were many days, even up to the very end, she thought about getting a divorce, but she continued to make the choice to stay. On a side note, she also reminded my great grandpa that she made a choice to marry him and he better do his best to make that choice as easy as possible. But, then something happens (usually small, because that is how God works), Ken makes me smile or laugh and I realize I like him. And I make the choice to remain married. Again…..

6. You'll realize that you can only change yourself.

Ken and I are driving along to Atlanta…….Yay, New Year’s Eve……… and he is (Yelling, swirving, commenting, honking and a few phrases in sign language) gentling giving other drivers helpful tips. I was in the passenger seat (wondering if it is wrong to wish God would make my husband mute) asking God to help Ken with the tough situation he was currently in. It occurred to me that this is the man, I married. This IS in fact IT!

Wonderful guy with a great heart, but Oh the list of little improvements to make him perfect………. But, that’s the thing……..I cannot change him. And every negative thought I had, God made me realize that perhaps I do it as well. It is as they say, “If you think your dog is fat, you probably need exercise.” I need to learn patience ~ I need to be less selfish – I need to dress for success – I need to love less conditionally – I need to look on the bright side of things.

Happiness is a state of mind and along the way you always have options. Each morning, we are faced with life and whether or not we will be happy. Through God, all things are possible. And today, I choose to let God be in control and to worry about tomorrow later. Baby steps, people, baby steps.



http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24191/dating-101-seven-things-no-one-tells-you-about-marriage