Monday and it was NOT Me

Thanks to a fellow blogger I look forward to Mondays and laughing about all the things during the week that "weren't" me. In this stressful and imperfect world why not laugh at our imperfections.





I did NOT hide things in closets and under beds and spend the majority of my Wednesday trying to be prepared for Christmas Eve dinner with Ken, my in-laws and my parents. I also did NOT love every minute of entertaining and once again know that I need to go into event planning.



I was NOT so proud of Ken for spending 4 hours and making home-made pasta for Christmas Eve dinner.



I did NOT burst into tears, over God knows why, while singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”

I was NOT so excited on Christmas morning that I woke up at 0430. I do not know what it is about Christmas but I just get SO excited and it has nothing to do with the presents. It is just my favorite time of year.

Christmas day was NOT spent playing Wii bowling and boxing at my sister and borther-in-law’s. I also did NOT completely enjoy kicking Ken’s bum at boxing.

I did NOT feel pathetic when my parents bought groceries because they felt we did not have enough food in the house. We are doing fine but now have enough food to feed an army. I’m a much better giver than receiver.

After Ken got food poisoning on Saturday and things coming out of every orifice possible every 30 minutes for a full 8 hours and my taking care of him, I am NOT still some what grossed out just being near him.

I am NOT plotting to get my parents to move to South Carolina. I’m an only child and I miss my Mommy.

I am NOT second guessing the choices I am made and wonder if they are REALLY what God had planned for my life or if I messed up somewhere.


I am NOT so thankful that despite a few bumps in the road that I really do have a good life and an easy one at that.

I did NOT step on the scale this morning, freak out and then eat a cookie. Hello that’s what New Year’s resolutions are for. On that note: I also have NOT written out my resolutions all ready.

I’m NOT panicked that I only have three days to bring in the other half of my numbers.

It’s Monday again and It wasn’t ME

My gift for the white elephant Christmas party was NOT a bottle of Boone’s Farm Watermelon wine. I also did not laugh my bum off when Ken suggested this. (A member of my extended family brought it to our wedding. Sorry, if you drink this but it is not real wine. Clearly states “malt beverage” on the bottle.)



On the same note, Ken purchased a new kung fu hamster that sings for a $1 as his white elephant gift and we did NOT roll on the floor laughing as we tortured the baby puppy with it all last week.



Upon finding Ken’s dirty socks on top of the coffee table (I just LOVE finding them there.) They were then NOT used to dust the entertainment center and various other family room items before being put in the hamper.



After being accused of having an panty fetish, because I own enough underwear to clothe a small country, I did NOT pout a little as I got rid of each pair of Victoria’s Secret sizes small and medium that I will NEVER be able to fit into again. Plus I was NOT calculating how much money I had spent when they were purchased. Did I mention the Barbie girl is a reformed shopper……….. I did NOT just blog about my panties!! That would be completely unladylike.



The better part of my week is NOT being spent cleaning the Baribie mansion from top to bottum in preparation of the Mamma Spawn and Gu coming next week. This is the woman who taught me how to clean, if there is dirt she will find it. So, everything come out of the fridge and that was cleaned top to down as well. All this was NOT done with Christmas music playing full blast.



My biological clock did NOT tick when we visited Greenville and saw close friend's new born.



After thinking about babies, my mind did NOT move on to the fact that Ken is still not working regularly (Hello, people of Columbia...BUY HOUSES!!! Look for Wickersham Homes and if you need repairs, a deck, trim work or any thing else built call Kwick Construction.)



NO time was spent today rolling around on the floor, growling and snorting at the uppies as we played.

I'm completely NOT stressed over money and bills.

I did NOT fall victum to the uppies
during lunch.




I did NOT think was too cute.




My heart did NOT sigh at how bad and cute this little bugger is.




I did NOT laugh out loud when he began doing a cry / bark becuase I would not feed him food.

LIVERS AND GIZZARDS, OH MY!!!!!!!

Its bullocks I tell you simply bullocks!!! So, Ken has a frequent shopper card to a local grocery store which is (such a ploy to spy on customers in order to do target marketing) great way to save money on food. At any rate, they were generous enough to give us a free twelve pound turkey (reasons why Ken should not do the grocery shopping because who the heck knows how much we have spent in order to qualify for a free twelve pound turkey). Yay, free food!!!!!! Since we are still really tight on cash we decided to cook the turkey this week and make several meals out of it (With just the two of us, I will be eating turkey up to my eye balls.) Needless to say, I have never cooked a turkey. Gu, my dad, normally smokes or deep fries it. (Amazing when injected with Cajun butter sauce.) Turkey cooking is a MAN job.

For the last three days we have been thawing the turkey in the fridge. So the little bugger, Ken, sneaks off to work this morning. Does he at any point offer to clean the turkey? Of course not!!!! Nope this Barbie has also NEVER cleaned a turkey. UGH!!!!! There I was at 8 am reading directions on the back of the turkey to figure out how “in theory” this is all supposed to work.

HELLO, you want me to put my hand WHERE and pull out WHAT!?????!!!! “Pull out part package located behind the neck.” EXCUES ME………..What the heck do you do with a neck!!!! Is this not something that should oh I don’t know be thrown away before you package, freeze and put in a grocery store? What self respecting Barbie puts her hands up a birds bum and is expected to pull out body parts. I say again, it’s bullocks!!! I have rubber gloves, but someone (might have been me) thought it would be a bright idea to take the gloves out of the box and just leave them under the kitchen sink. Can’t be used on food.

My hand goes in and grasps something (hard and long ……NO …slippery and long …………. BAD BARBIE! LOL. Ok there is just no good way to say it with out….well you know.) So it’s the neck. SO GROSS!!! Great and according the package there is more. Fun times. I am nearly elbow deep inside a bird’s bum and I cannot find the “parts” package. Must you have a degree in turkeys to do this? I have heard of the Butterball help line. I was not about to call up and ask where I might find the “packs” package.

Ah ha, another whole at the top of the bird!!!!! I must say, when something is referred to as the parts package I expect it to be sealed. Not so much! More like an open piece of parchment paper with one thing I could id as the liver (Yay, two years of pre-med) and a few other things I have no clue what they were. Yeah, recommended use by Ken……boil and make gravy OR feed to the uppies. I wouldn’t eat this crap, why would I feed it to the dogs? According to Ken they would like it and Gizzie grew up on stuff like that. UGH!!!! Well as much as they are my babies they in fact lick their own bums so……. (Did I really just talk about dogs licking their bums in a blog?) So, I suppose the dogs are getting a treat today.

I had to call my mother-in-law to find out how long to cook this thing. For those of you whom do not know. You bake a turkey for 30 minutes for every pound. This bugger has been buttered under the skin along with sage thyme and other spices, and oiled on the outside with a rub I concocted out of items in the spice cabinet.

Here is to hoping tomorrows headline does not read, “BARBIE GIRL RUINS BIRD” I might be a little domestic goddess on some things, but this is so not it!!!!

REAL men eat QUICHE

They wear pink too, but that is a whole other blog entirely. (Lol. Ken disagrees and is still not too keen on the powder blue polo I bought for him in the early months of dating. But, I like it so he wears it about two to three times a year. Oh the power of the woman!!!! Teehee.)

Perhaps, it is a girl thing, but one of my favorite things is a good quiche, salad, and a bowl of soup; especially on a cold December day. OK, fine it is in the 70’s here all week – EAT YOUR HEART OUT NORTHERN READERS!!!! No, the Missouri girl does NOT miss the snow! I’m in capris, a t-shirt, and denim jacket and LOVING it!

So, I made quiche last night. Mmmm broccoli cheese quiche. I altered my recipe a bit to try to entice Ken into liking it. REALLY easy recipe, but it changes all the time depending on what we have in the house. Here is the basic frame work. Make sure you mix and match to suit your tastes, because this is ONLY a frame work.

Meiko’s Quiche Basics


• 6 eggs (I used 3 and some apple sauce yesterday. Had exactly 6 eggs in the morning and had the bright idea I wanted to boil 3 for breakfast and a snack, before I planned dinner.)
• ½ to 1 cup of milk or half and half. (You are going to have to eye-ball this. If using 6 eggs go with the whole cup of milk.)
• 1 ½ cups of Bisquick (Ok so I cheat! You can also use pie crust or flour.)
• 2 cups broccoli (can be frozen or fresh. If fresh make sure to blanch a little.)
• 2 cups of cheese (Cheddar, Colby/Jack, Mexican blend. Whatever.)
• ½ cup of onion
• Pepper
• Garlic salt
• Mrs. Dash
(optional)
• 4 strips turkey bacon
• 5 mushrooms chopped
Mix eggs, milk, Bisquick, and seasonings in a bowl and set aside. Then place all other ingredients in a glass pie plate. Pour batter mix over the items in the pie plate. Bake at 350 F for 30 minutes. (servings: 4)
(Ken’s addition) Serve with One dollop sour cream

Well, Ken wasn’t thrilled with it, but he liked it enough to eat it all. VICTORY!!!!!!!! Ken now eats quiche, I don’t think he’d eat it everyday, but he said it was pretty good.

NOT Me Monday

Ok so now that I'm back at the Barbie mansion (lol.), I am settling back into my normal life. Woohoo sleeping in until 6:45!!!!

As the little uppy puppy and the big dog preferred to snuggle Ken last night instead of the person who they had not seen in a whole week, I DID NOT feel slightly jealous and heart broken.


I WAS NOT secretly proud of Ken after getting paid on Friday that he only took $20 for himself and deposited the rest in my account. The accounts will remain separate until we are on the same page about money. Odd way to be married, I know, but it is better this way for now.


On the same note, WASN”T ME who longed to buy a new Christmas outfit. Black suede Ann Klein shoes from Hammrick’s ~ $32, tweed pants from Ann Taylor Loft ~ $69, black and white sweater from White House Black Market ~ $88, NOT that I looked or anything.


And I SO DIDN’T also perused the Macy’s jewelry items. NEVER!!!!

There was NO snoozing through our workout today, either.



NOT still wearing my slippers and no make-up while working from the home office. Really what kind of woman do you take me for??????


I also so AM NOT enjoying that I am safely at home in SC while the Atlanta office is being invaded by the Dutch. Nothing like corporate popping in on short notice to mess up your week.


I WOULD NEVER blog first thing in the morning while my techs trying to set up my remote access to my Atlanta computer.


My resume so DID NOT get sent to Vera Bradley for an open position along with a wispered pray to God to give me strength and without telling Ken or anyone else about it.