Monday and it was NOT Me

Thanks to a fellow blogger I look forward to Mondays and laughing about all the things during the week that "weren't" me. In this stressful and imperfect world why not laugh at our imperfections.





I did NOT hide things in closets and under beds and spend the majority of my Wednesday trying to be prepared for Christmas Eve dinner with Ken, my in-laws and my parents. I also did NOT love every minute of entertaining and once again know that I need to go into event planning.



I was NOT so proud of Ken for spending 4 hours and making home-made pasta for Christmas Eve dinner.



I did NOT burst into tears, over God knows why, while singing “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”

I was NOT so excited on Christmas morning that I woke up at 0430. I do not know what it is about Christmas but I just get SO excited and it has nothing to do with the presents. It is just my favorite time of year.

Christmas day was NOT spent playing Wii bowling and boxing at my sister and borther-in-law’s. I also did NOT completely enjoy kicking Ken’s bum at boxing.

I did NOT feel pathetic when my parents bought groceries because they felt we did not have enough food in the house. We are doing fine but now have enough food to feed an army. I’m a much better giver than receiver.

After Ken got food poisoning on Saturday and things coming out of every orifice possible every 30 minutes for a full 8 hours and my taking care of him, I am NOT still some what grossed out just being near him.

I am NOT plotting to get my parents to move to South Carolina. I’m an only child and I miss my Mommy.

I am NOT second guessing the choices I am made and wonder if they are REALLY what God had planned for my life or if I messed up somewhere.


I am NOT so thankful that despite a few bumps in the road that I really do have a good life and an easy one at that.

I did NOT step on the scale this morning, freak out and then eat a cookie. Hello that’s what New Year’s resolutions are for. On that note: I also have NOT written out my resolutions all ready.

I’m NOT panicked that I only have three days to bring in the other half of my numbers.

Coconut Shortbread Cookies are EVIL!!!!

Makes 2 dozen

Prep: 20 min Chill: 1 hour, 10 min

Bake: 30 min per batch


I love to bake and found a recipe for the above mentioned decadent evilly delicious cookies in December 2004 issue of SouthernLiving Christmas at Home. Thanks to Mamma Spawn, I too am a collector cooking and decorating magazines. Ken is a hard core chocolate chip man and I thought these cookies would be great for Christmas. I was able to get 31 cookies out of the recipe, which is a good thing, because there are now only 8 left. These cookies are dying a quick and honorable death. Watching my what I eat has turned into watching cookies go into my mouth. And the sad thing is……I will have to bake MORE for Christmas. I suppose I can make sacrifice for the sake of Christmas. They taste like Pepperidge Farm Brussels. If you too, would like the recipe for these cookies, knowing full well that they will NOT make it to wherever you plan on taking them, let me know and I will share the wealth. Otherwise, I wish you a Merry Christmas.

It’s Monday again and It wasn’t ME

My gift for the white elephant Christmas party was NOT a bottle of Boone’s Farm Watermelon wine. I also did not laugh my bum off when Ken suggested this. (A member of my extended family brought it to our wedding. Sorry, if you drink this but it is not real wine. Clearly states “malt beverage” on the bottle.)



On the same note, Ken purchased a new kung fu hamster that sings for a $1 as his white elephant gift and we did NOT roll on the floor laughing as we tortured the baby puppy with it all last week.



Upon finding Ken’s dirty socks on top of the coffee table (I just LOVE finding them there.) They were then NOT used to dust the entertainment center and various other family room items before being put in the hamper.



After being accused of having an panty fetish, because I own enough underwear to clothe a small country, I did NOT pout a little as I got rid of each pair of Victoria’s Secret sizes small and medium that I will NEVER be able to fit into again. Plus I was NOT calculating how much money I had spent when they were purchased. Did I mention the Barbie girl is a reformed shopper……….. I did NOT just blog about my panties!! That would be completely unladylike.



The better part of my week is NOT being spent cleaning the Baribie mansion from top to bottum in preparation of the Mamma Spawn and Gu coming next week. This is the woman who taught me how to clean, if there is dirt she will find it. So, everything come out of the fridge and that was cleaned top to down as well. All this was NOT done with Christmas music playing full blast.



My biological clock did NOT tick when we visited Greenville and saw close friend's new born.



After thinking about babies, my mind did NOT move on to the fact that Ken is still not working regularly (Hello, people of Columbia...BUY HOUSES!!! Look for Wickersham Homes and if you need repairs, a deck, trim work or any thing else built call Kwick Construction.)



NO time was spent today rolling around on the floor, growling and snorting at the uppies as we played.

I'm completely NOT stressed over money and bills.

I did NOT fall victum to the uppies
during lunch.




I did NOT think was too cute.




My heart did NOT sigh at how bad and cute this little bugger is.




I did NOT laugh out loud when he began doing a cry / bark becuase I would not feed him food.

Ah the Good Life........

Being married takes certain about of adjustment for both parties. I was accustomed to a life of I suppose some luxury (I was raised that buying a high quality item on sale was a good thing, but to NEVER buy anything cheap) whereas Ken did not care what kind of things he furnished his home with so-long-as his tools were top of the line. How quickly he has gotten used to the “good” life. Am I a bad wife in the fact that I usually refrain from the “I told you so”s with Ken, but simply bask in my rightness quietly?

This morning, I happened to laugh out loud when the man, whom gave me the look of he could not believe I had the audacity to register for Egyptian cotton bathsheets (which were on sale at the time), pouted at the fact that all the “Big towels” were dirty and heaven forbid he had to use a regular oversized towel. This is also the same man who rolled his eyes when I talked about the thread count of sheets, was also asking why the “old sheets” were on the bed (I have never purchased anything under 250 count. TJ Maxx and Marshalls are my favorite places to go.) I just have to laugh at the fact that my manly man has tapped into a little of the metro man within. (Shhhhhh, he’d hate it if he ever knew I said that.)

Take our wedding registry again (We’ve been married for eight months and counting now) ………….. Being the planner, I pretty much knew what I wanted to register for. I invited Ken to go along (thinking he wouldn’t go) and he went. I thought that it might be a good bonding experience. (Famous last words…) In the middle of Target I was having to explain that a $350 coffee maker is not a wise choice when ….A. I already had a perfectly good coffee maker that matched everything. B. We each only drink one cup of coffee a day. This logic was NOT sinking in, so I let him scan it full knowing I would simply remove it from the website later. (Yes, I am evil, but a girl has got to do what a girl has got to do.) In place of his over priced java maker, I registered for an Ohio State (Ken is a HUGE fan) couch blanket, a great toaster oven (I was a toaster girl, but the man really likes toaster ovens.), a Tools of the Trade lobster pot (the boy can cook a mean mess of crab legs.), and a few Calphalon items.

A monster was born…..After receive one knife the man swore he needed more, so I took him to Macy’s to see the cost of one Calphalon knife. Upon sticker shock he happily goes to Marshalls and TJs so we can “hunt for” good stuff. It has become a fun game for us. My impulse buying man has learned that it is best to not buy an item because he wants it, but to wait and save until we have the money and find a really good deal on the top of the line items.

He even brags to other people about how I have gotten him used to a homey life style. Also, a laugh out loud moment when my manly man is explaining to other men how important thread count is when considering sheets, towels, etc. I must admit his conversations are more like, “Yeah, you don’t understand, these big towel things are so big and soft that you can wrap it around your whole body.” LOL. Gosh, he is so freakin’ cute.