Have you ever noticed that the anticipation of an event is so much more intimidating than the actual thing? Paralysis by analysis. Well before anything happens you have thought about it from every angle and considered all the what-ifs in the world. Some may say that if you trust in God whole heartedly there is no need to waste time on the small stuff and everything is small stuff. Well, ever the planner, I HATE surprises. So not, go with the flow Barbie and if I ever seem that way on the outside, it is because my planner brain has been analyzing and has all ready calculated the event as a possibility, considered all possible reactions and the consequences of my reaction. Happiness is a state of mind and I am happiest feeling as if, while all things are in God’s hands, I have some control over my life or at least I have a plan in place for whatever God has in mind. Just as the quote on my profile says, "you own your values, your integrity, your thoughts, your words, your actions and therefore, your destiny." Sure I freak-out at times and have a pity party, but those tend to be short lived. I function best in a world with schedules and deadlines and timeframes.
You may be thinking that Ken must go crazy living in this little world of mine and the answer is that he most likely does. Especially the frustration I go through when I allow myself to get off track for too long. He once asked what I was thinking as I had fallen silent during a car trip. As I took him through my train of thought…..I think it was something like this
“Wow, the leaves on the trees are so colorful right now………..Momma Spawn and I used to have so much fun on our Fall “Leaf Peeping” adventures……….wonder if I’ll do that with my kids…….kids could be fun………they produce a lot of laundry too (I do all the laundry in our house)………….Oh, that black sweater I want to wear to next week is in the dirty clothes…………..Note to self: do laundry when I get home………We have about ¾ a bottle of laundry soap and one more load full of Downey…….Did I put Downey on the shopping list for this week? ……………
Ok so you get the picture. I think most women think this much, since we are the inventory takers, social coordinators, and the finders of all lost things. Needless to say Ken’s response was that just hearing about all of that made his head hurt and he has never asked again. LOL. But the thing is…..whenever he doesn’t know where something is, he asks me before he ever goes looking for it. And it isn’t because I do most of the cleaning and if it was left out, I moved it. It has much more to do with the fact that a woman’s brain is a massive computer that might see the hubby’s keys in the master bathroom when putting away clean towels and mental records the location without much effort.
Hence why we do not have children yet. I’m still analyzing that one. I understand that you are never TRULY ready or prepared for children, but I know that aspect of my life to will be filled with schedules as well as unexpected events. LOL. Plus for now, taking care of the two uppy puppies, Ken, our household, selling software and looking to branch out into event planning is all my brain can handle.
Oh sorry went a whole other direction with the blog… thinking too much again. I guess you could say that I think and talk in circles. Many things all interconnected all leading back to my original thought. So, that anticipated event, we are being invaded by members of our corporate office next week and it could be a GREAT thing (company is sold and we NEVER have to deal with them again) OR an opportunity to learn something (People won’t be reporting to work the following week.) I won’t say that it will be a bad thing. Because in my effort to trust in God’s plan, I believe that as one door closes another opens. All of which leads in the direction your life is to go with opportunities to learn along the way. Plus, my brain has analyzed the possibilities of the good things and the bad things and how I might react.
Hope I didn’t make you think too much in the process of the blog. Just sharing my thoughts.