My gift for the white elephant Christmas party was NOT a bottle of Boone’s Farm Watermelon wine. I also did not laugh my bum off when Ken suggested this. (A member of my extended family brought it to our wedding. Sorry, if you drink this but it is not real wine. Clearly states “malt beverage” on the bottle.)
On the same note, Ken purchased a new kung fu hamster that sings for a $1 as his white elephant gift and we did NOT roll on the floor laughing as we tortured the baby puppy with it all last week.
Upon finding Ken’s dirty socks on top of the coffee table (I just LOVE finding them there.) They were then NOT used to dust the entertainment center and various other family room items before being put in the hamper.
After being accused of having an panty fetish, because I own enough underwear to clothe a small country, I did NOT pout a little as I got rid of each pair of Victoria’s Secret sizes small and medium that I will NEVER be able to fit into again. Plus I was NOT calculating how much money I had spent when they were purchased. Did I mention the Barbie girl is a reformed shopper……….. I did NOT just blog about my panties!! That would be completely unladylike.
The better part of my week is NOT being spent cleaning the Baribie mansion from top to bottum in preparation of the Mamma Spawn and Gu coming next week. This is the woman who taught me how to clean, if there is dirt she will find it. So, everything come out of the fridge and that was cleaned top to down as well. All this was NOT done with Christmas music playing full blast.
My biological clock did NOT tick when we visited Greenville and saw close friend's new born.
After thinking about babies, my mind did NOT move on to the fact that Ken is still not working regularly (Hello, people of Columbia...BUY HOUSES!!! Look for Wickersham Homes and if you need repairs, a deck, trim work or any thing else built call Kwick Construction.)
NO time was spent today rolling around on the floor, growling and snorting at the uppies as we played.
I'm completely NOT stressed over money and bills.
I did NOT fall victum to the uppies
I did NOT think was too cute.
My heart did NOT sigh at how bad and cute this little bugger is.
I did NOT laugh out loud when he began doing a cry / bark becuase I would not feed him food.